It's been one week, to the hour, since I received my prescription and took my first dose of naltrexone on the way home from the pharmacy.
I've tried to drink and found it utterly uninspiring. I'vetried to get drunk, and found it nearly impossible. (As GTer aloe-vera pointed out, it's interesting that my first instinct is to try to "break" something that's working the way it should. I'm a child, I swear.)
So last night? I had a drink. And here again, a brand new experience.
I had no desire to "break" the drug. I could appreciate the effect of the drink for the pleasurable experience it was always supposed to be. A moment for my husband and I to sit together and admire the bluebonnets in our back yard, talk about our high-school senior daughter's softball game that afternoon, and enjoy the bright freshness of vodka, tonic & lime. For the first time in a very long time, there was no desire to find the "buzz" - the buzz was there already. I could feel the muscles relax a bit in my arms (where I always feel alcohol first) and appreciate it. And that was good enough. It was actually really very... nice.
That drink, that one drink, lasted for over two hours. I freshened it with a bit more tonic, ice and lime, but knew there'd be no point, no need, for anything else. And I enjoyed it that way.
The first few doses were a little more trying. If you could imagine an elated let-down, that's how I felt. I was excited at the efficacy, but irritated that the buzz wasn't there. Even the taste seemed off, not as pleasant. The attempt to actually get drunk felt the same. Well, damn. There goes that stress-reliever. But yesterday I realized it's still there! It is relaxing. It's just not "fun."
And I'm okay with that.
This is not the time of the month to talk much about weight or food. All the homemade tortillas, please. ;)
Although, yet again, I've left food on my plate at every meal. Come to think of it, last night was a better low-carb night, but the dogs received pretty healthy bites of pulled pork.
Not a single thing to report.
And finally because I think it's necessary to add: I am in no way affiliated with the makers of Naltrexone (I take the generic) nor am I compensated in any way other than the deep irritation of having "Alcohol Abuse" as part of my permanent physician's record. :\ And of course the satisfaction of being a Pubmed guinea pig for your amusement.
This is in no way to be taken as medical advice, as I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on the internet.
And word to the wise: If you plan to speak to your doctor, or friends and family, about this.. plan to get some push-back, some mentions of "If you have a problem isn't it time to stop altogether..." etc. Stay vigilant. It's not on the FDA restricted list, it's approved for moderating OR quitting, and you might want to consider printing out more information so you have it in hand. Don't rely on your phone or your memory.
Feel free to share these posts or my Soberish tag anywhere you see fit. As far as I'm concerned, this is pretty damned amazing.
I also welcome any questions or concerns you have, so don't be shy.