Soberish: Two Months In.

But first, because it will always be awesome, this spacer gif for slight TW stuff related to drinking and weight loss/numbers/eating pattern changes.

So yeah, I’m officially two months soberish. No chip for me, as I’m nowhere near close to sober as we’ve come to know it, but soberish is pretty much my summer jam right now. I’ve found a happy balance in taking Naltrexone that no doubt wouldn’t work for everyone, and may not work for me forever, but it’s been very cool. I can both get a little sloshed from time to time and trust myself not to get drunk all of the time.


I’ve settled into a habit of taking the Naltrexone most work-week afternoons, but occasionally don’t take it from about Wednesday or Thursday through Saturday. This is basically my game plan if I know I do want to get a little higher-level tipsy sometime during the weekend. The drug does have a lasting effect (or I’m actually learning different drinking patterns) so I kind of have to plan ahead, which is both weird, and good.

Of course, a huge upside is that my tolerance is so much lower now that I’m a much cheaper drunk. The downside? The same! I’m seriously having to learn new limits on hard liquor. Another funny change is that I trust UncleKim* to let me know when I’m hitting a limit I don’t want to pass, which is something in the past that would’ve caused a drunken fight. (Proud admission there, huh?) Obviously this progress pleases us both.

I think what I love the most is being able to have a glass or two of wine, or a cocktail, during our evening unwind-time and enjoy it for what it’s worth, not for the potential “woohoo, party!” feeling it used to bring on. Losing the false-elation was a little jarring at first, and something I’d definitely warn anyone to expect for the first several doses. It’s really just odd, and takes the “joy” and escapism out of drinking. But the new reality should set in pretty quickly: That joy was always a lie, and a dangerous one. I tend to prefer wine over cocktails during the week (if I drink at all - which does also happen... or not happen, you know what I mean) because I do love the taste and gentle buzz, whereas cocktails + Naltrexone tend to give me a very odd “Huh, why am I bothering?” reaction. But even then, no matter how cold the chenin blanc is in relation to how hot the afternoon, it’s next to impossible to drink more than two glasses. I pour a third and ignore it frequently enough as to actually have a “cooking wine” mason jar in the fridge, where leftovers go.

You read that right: Leftover wine from my wine glass.

It also has had significant effects on the way that I eat. I’d lost 17lbs between January and April 1st low-carbing, but when I started taking the Naltrexone, I actually ended up not low-carbing as religiously. Suddenly I’d find myself thinking “Eh, what’s this plate of starchy shit going to hurt, anyway?” when I knew the answer. But nine times out of ten, 80% of what I’d served also ended up in the fridge as leftovers. The Naltrexone sends a no-way-around-it message when you’re done, whether it’s eating or drinking. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve ended up eating an ear of corn for dinner and nothing else.


Since April 1st I’ve only lost another five pounds with this lower calorie approach (my body prefers more protein and a higher caloric intake as opposed to lower calorie eating, thanks Older Lady Metabolism!) but it’s seriously hard to low-carb on the Naltrexone, unfortunately. Eh. Slow and steady wins the race, and all that.

Unfortunately, no news to report on the Transverse Myelitis myelin sheath damage, but I don’t take it daily, so I can’t really expect miracles there.


*Funny note: UncleKim stashes a couple away on business trips that promise to involve sitting around the hotel bar, just to be on the safe side.

(Please feel free to share wherever you KinjaRoam. This is fascinating stuff, IMO.)


The Soberish tag tells the full story.


And finally because I think it’s necessary to add: I am in no way affiliated with the makers of Naltrexone (I take the generic) nor am I compensated in any way other than the deep irritation of having “Alcohol Abuse” as part of my permanent physician’s record. :\ And of course the satisfaction of being a Pubmed guinea pig for your amusement.

This is in no way to be taken as medical advice, as I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on the internet.


And word to the wise: If you plan to speak to your doctor, or friends and family, about this... plan to get some pushback, some mentions of “If you have a problem isn’t it time to stop altogether...” etc. Stay vigilant. It’s not on the FDA restricted list, it’s approved for moderating OR quitting, and you might want to consider printing out more information so you have it in hand. Don’t rely on your phone or your memory!

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